Thursday, December 31, 2015
I Believe...
I Believe... Every child comes into the world with a dream to live and the natural gifts and potential abilities to bring that dream to reality. Individuals' happiness in life comes from making their contribution to the world by realizing their unique dreams. Our responsibility is to invite the child's dream to come forth to nurture the child’s pursuit of it--and to avoid allowing preconceptions to undermine our children’s belief in themselves and their dreams. Our responsibility to ourselves is to nurture our own dream--so we don't live vicariously trying to impose frustrated dreams on our children. Read more of what I believe by reading the first two comments.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I Believe...That children are naturally curious. They want to learn. The job of both parents and teacher is to provide the basic materials and resources to foster and promote the learning.
ReplyDeleteChildren are naturally joyful, powerful, creative, and respectful. They long to express themselves in these ways. When their needs and wants are honored, they are happy, loving, and cooperative. They will channel their energy in constructive ways. There will be peace and joy, and reduced friction in the home. When children are expressing themselves destructively or defiantly, it does not mean they are bad--it usually means they are hurting and feel powerless to deal with their pain in a positive way. Discipline is the unpleasant problem we confront when we don't choose to deal with the problem that's causing the pain.
The job of the parent is to make the child right. The child's feelings are natural; the child's needs and wants are appreciated; the child's emerging self is welcomed. A counselor who understands dysfunctional behavior will help to reinterpret a client’s needs and wants and discover a more effective and rewarding way of achieving them. A parent sometimes has to be a "counselor" in this way.
I Believe...Children are people, with all the same feeling adults. It's important to children to be appreciated and to have feelings recognized and validated. They need to be able to express their feelings freely, in ways not injurious to others. Anger talked out and traced back to the pain that caused it can be handled. Anger suppressed will accumulate and grow. Talking about pain does not make it hurt worse; it allows the hurt to surface and be released. The question, "Does it hurt -- real bad?” validates the child's natural feeling and our caring.
ReplyDeleteChildren express themselves fully when in a safe environment. If children are inhibited, it's a valuable clue that a relationship doesn't feel safe for them to speak out or act naturally. This can happen when adults are unaware of our requirement the child to conform to our expectations. When full expression is allowed and encouraged, no heaviness is carried over from one moment to the next. Tensions don't escalate into blowups. The relationship feels light and free and responsive.
Children are naturally honest and sincere. The job of the sensitive parent is to cherish and emulate the child’s honesty, sincerity, and enthusiasm—and avoid suppressing or invalidating it by word or example. A child can teach us a greater degree of honesty than we ever realized we needed to know.
Children love to work hard and enjoy the finished product of their efforts. Doing too much for children who are doing for themselves fosters dependency and low self-esteem. Children need to feel they are making an important contribution to their family and the world. They need to understand the importance and relevance of their work. They need standard of their own to live up to instead of affirming “I’m proud of you," suggest, “I’ll bet that makes you feel pretty good about yourself.” This will encourage the child to internalize self-esteem.
Children remember their own and others' actions. They base later decisions on these stored memories.
Love and respect for a child will invoke love and respect in return. Children need to know they are loved and that their existence is a high priority in the lives of their parents. Children know where they stand with us based on the importance we give their presence in our lives. No amount of expensive gifts or well-intentioned promises and reassurances take the place of quality time devoted to listening to and being there for your child.
The job of the parent is to be the role model. What kind of child, and what kind of adult, do we want to produce? Be the model.
The responsibility of the parent is to be in charge, not in control. Children enjoy and want boundaries. Boundaries ground the child in the reality of the physical limits and foster respect for others. They provide the structure in which strengths can develop. Effective boundaries are like glass windows, not jail bars. Their integrity comes from the respect we have for them and the clear view they offer of the world, not from coercion and shutting out the world beyond. Children need freedom to explore and create within pre-established boundaries.
Our children constantly challenge us to be our best, to live up to our convictions, to have the courage to be the adults we hope to see them become. That’s an expectation we can resist or do our best to fulfill. When we give our children the encouragement and provide the resources they need, we step back in wonder and watch the magnificent human beings they are, as they become their dream. “I believe children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way…”
Now please tell me what you believe!
ReplyDelete